43,350 Words, and Here is My Knife in the Snowball

Well, I had to write it in, but as I said, my characters are in the desert, so it was a bit of a struggle but I managed. I actually wrote this on the weekend. Here is Jackie, explaining the origin of his 'lucky knife.'

Despite all of these things that passed through her mind, and despite Jackie’s decidedly unhinged appearance, Annie found that there was a question plaguing her, one that drove all other logical thought out of her brain. After a moment of stunned silence, she asked it.
“Don’t you think it’s a bit dangerous to go rolling through alleyways with a knife in your mouth? I mean, it makes running with scissors look like a goddamn walk in the park.” She wondered if perhaps this was the answer to the eternal question of how the Joker had received the scars on his face. She momentarily wished that she had both a doctor and a comic book geek in the near vicinity, so she could ask for their expert opinions on this theory. But isn’t that always the way? When you don’t want them around, it seems there are doctors and comic book geeks everywhere, maddeningly offering their opinions of every little thing, but when you need them? Nowhere to be found.
Jackie rose to his feet, seemingly completely nonplussed by the question, or his own bizarre behaviour. Rather, he seemed to relish the opportunity to provide an explanation.
“This is my lucky knife. I’ve had this baby with me for years. Once upon a time, an assassin had an ingenious idea to try to take me out by embedding a knife, this knife, inside a snowball, and then throwing the snowball through a window into a room I was in. Now I know what you’re thinking, how could that plan have possibly failed, right?” In fact, no one was thinking that at all, quite the opposite. “Well, that’s why it’s lucky. Somehow, despite all the odds that were stacked against me, the knife snowball broke through the window, missed me completely, and landed in the middle of the room, where it melted, revealing its deadly core. I knew that day that someone was looking out for me, that I had work left to do on this earth. So I picked up the knife, made a promise to always use it for good, and I’ve carried it with me ever since.”
“That doesn’t explain why you carried it in your mouth. That still seems dangerous to me.”
“Well, my skinny jeans are too tight for me to carry it in my pocket. And I needed my hands for combat purposes.” He explained, a note of petulance entering his voice.


Here is something I wrote more recently. More from Jackie:

“As Ms. Donovan so astutely pointed out, I have strategically placed around my hotel various ‘odes’ to violence. In Brady’s room, there is the crocheted wall hanging, I have also used welcome mats, key rings, shower curtains, and wall art. I brilliantly took advantage of the Edward vs Jacob craze that overtook the nation during Twilight mania. I used one of those creepy full size ‘Edward’ wall stickers that is the size and shape of a grown man’s shadow. I placed it on the wall and stenciled the words ‘I Don’t Dial 911’ on it. It was a smash hit, and I’ve been thinking about doing that in every room.” The others were looking on in various stages of active discomfort. Annie was visibly shuddering at the thought of a creepy, sparkly, eternally teenaged vampire creeping into her room in the middle of the night and whispering that he didn’t dial 911. “In any case, besides really knocking my hotel décor out of the park, I had a purpose. I have been trying to infiltrate ‘Five for Fighting’ or at the very least lead them to believe that Jackie’s Place is a safe harbour for them.

“The ECHL does indeed have rock bottom budgets for player accommodations. With the Las Vegas Wranglers so close by, and with my modest pricing, Jackie’s Place has become de rigeur among the ECHL set. That is to say, I have many, many hockey players pass through here from October to June, and the message has spread. Jackie’s Place is a place where all those with violent inclinations can feel right at home. And while I haven’t necessarily infiltrated Five for Fighting, I have gained their trust. They have let their guard down here.


By the way, my characters are still in the Flying Monkey bar... but hopefully they will leave there today.